The Lonely Hearts

Good bye Norma Jeane
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the treadmill
And they made you change your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Hollywood created a superstar
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Marilyn was found in the nude

Goodbye Norma Jeane
From the young man in the 22nd row
Who sees you as something as more than sexual
More than just our Marilyn Monroe



This was Elton John's song dedicated to Norma Jeane better known as Marilyn Monroe. And it very well describes the reality of her life.

Always admired in a crowd and yet so very lonely!

She was the quintessential star who was made to pout & preen for and romance the camera. And she had a lovable childlike quality, she could look sexy but sweet and innocent at the same time. And she didn't need to try hard to look hot, it was a natural quality she had.

That’s something which many blondes( more so Playboy blondes) after her had tried to copy unsuccessfully.

Marilyn had men drooling over and even today she's considered the ultimate sex symbol by many. But this voluptuous blonde was a truly lonely soul who sadly lacked the ability to handle life.

Her circumstances were bad and the world of showbiz even then was tough.

She had a troubled childhood with her father abandoning her mother and her, the mother ending up in a mad house and her relatives with whom she spent her childhood not being kind enough to her.

But she was thoroughly ambitious, someone who would do anything for fame. First, she played the right cards for her modelling career and then for the stardom that the movies brought her.

The movie Marilyn and Norma Jeane has chronicled the various issues in her life quite well.

She had money, she had fame and adulation but it was not enough to save her relationships with her three husbands.

The first one was just James Dougherty was an arranged match and more like a marriage of convenience while she was still a teenager and she left him to pursue her modelling as Norma Jeane anyway.





To become Marilyn, the ambitious Norma Jeane had reportedly undergone plastic surgery to correct her nose and dyed her hair blonde. Well, those promoting her career demanded that.


In her more serious marriages with Joe Di Maggio and playwright Arthur Miller she had severe discord too.


The problems were deep rooted. She was reportedly schizophrenic and a drug abuser. She was aware of the same and she sought psychiatric help and psychoanalysis for most of her life.

She had some medical issues which caused miscarriage and inability to have a child.

She was scared of getting old as it meant stardom waning away (that’s a problem which would probably forever plague most in the entertainment industry).

It’s said during the time she sang “Happy Birthday Mr. President”, she dreamed of marrying President Kennedy


Her lonely end in the August of 1962 as a 36 year old is still a mystery and there are many conspiracy theories associated to it.

So here was this lady who seemed to have it all, yet was sad and lonely.

And he wasn’t really a dumb blonde. In fact some of her quotes such as these, show that she knew herself, and her intelligent side-
“
I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

“I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't.”

‘Dogs don’t bite me, only humans do”

“A sex symbol becomes a thing, and I can't stand to be a thing.”



In fact, she had sought the friendship of the favorite classic actor of many, Montgomery Clift more so during the making of her last movie ‘The Misfits’.

She famously described Clift as, "The only person I know who is in worse shape than I am."

Clift had a few chronic health problems, and was bisexual and later in his life probably exclusively homosexual. That was something which was looked down upon in Hollywood during those days.

After a life altering accident in 1956, he resorted to constant drug use to ease pains.

His destructive lifestyle affected his health and his end ten years later was lonely and sad too. In fact the last ten years have been famously called, ‘the longest suicide in Hollywood.” Sad, it pains me greatly since I can easily say- he's an all time favorite actor of mine and many others...

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that living a life of glitz and glamor of the showbiz world has many pitfalls.

Over the years there have been many examples.


Young and promising actor James Dean fatally crashed his car when he was only 24. Almost 16 years later the girl he wanted to marry and couldn't- the pretty Italian actress Piere Angeli too decided to put an untimely end to her life, owing to financial and personal issues.It's said she could never forget Dean and her note said that he was the only person in the world she ever truly loved in her life.

Before that Judy Garland, whose still immortal as Dorothy of ' The Wizard of Oz' went through severe personal crisis and many of her problems were connected to her weight.

The lives of celebs such as Andy Warhol’s muse Edie Sedgwick, musicians Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and more recently Heath Ledger and Brittany Murphy have exhibited the pitfalls of life in the public eye.


So the song “Good bye Norma Jeane” as stated by Bernie Taupin, can be about any public figure that is tormented by the pressures and the standards that the press and fans make him or her live up to.

Elton John sang the same song with a few alterations for Princess Diana.

The truth it’s not just a thing for celebs.

There are several lonely hearts in many a big bad city.

We get to hear more about the known people simply because they live their lives in the public eye.


Struggling alone day in and day out in a lonely city with very few true friends for anyone is difficult. Especially so if the person is young and building a career. One reaches a big city to fulfill dreams but the road ahead isn’t easy at all.

It’s like being lonely in a big crowd and seeking a place far away from the “bustle and the bright city lights.”

Especially so if there is not much family support and a parent or guardian is not physically living with the person. One needs to be lucky to get a true friend or a true lover.


In the Indian entertainment industry, the ethereally beautiful Madhu Bala who's been often revered as an icon in the east like Marilyn Mornroe in the west and the talented Meena Kumari have been seen as tragic lonely figures.Parveen Babi was another one who had a horrendous time dealing with the mayhem in her personal life stemming out of her various psychological problems.



The media and some others have sympathized with actress Divya Bharati's mysterious end and models Rakhi, Miss India 1997 Nafisa, her friend and co-star Kuljeet, Viveka and the like's self destruction in recent years. The same goes for some South Indian actresses who have been seen as victims as well.

It's said they simply couldn’t take the pressures of life in the shallow entertainment world.

Some mean ones criticized them for going out the cowardly way.
But loneliness is a hell of a thing to handle. Feeling lonely in a crowd and not knowing the difference between friends and foe can be a common situation in a cold city. At most times there's no family or true emotional support to lean on.

Only the one who was facing it and maybe their respective family would know what was actually going on.So it's better not to comment on sensitive situations of that sort.

Self preservation is something one should ideally seek(of course without harming none) and not self destruction.

It's difficult but one needs to keep one's cool amidst any kind of crisis. It’s easier said than done though.

Right psychological and true spiritual guidance at the right time and being lucky enough to get the same can transform many equations and change life for the better.

Some people can be really so very strong. Maybe they get divine guidance when unthinkable crisis hits them.

Here’s one recent example from the very few I have seen around lately and that has touched me immensely. And actually it's about normal people, not any celeb. And yes, it's something about the Mumbai Terror attacks of 2008, which not anyone conscious who has lived in Mumbai(even though I did so in the past) can forget or afford to ignore. It could have been a huge crisis in any normal person's home...

Their only son Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan (who can very well be considered an Indian youth icon) became a martyr in the Mumbai terror attacks of 2008 and when he was brought home, his parents K Unnkrishnan and Dhanlaxmi Unnkirishnan said they were so traumatized by the event( understandably so distraught) and later the unneeded political hoopla that they felt like ending their lives themselves there and then. But they logically figured it out and said, “people would say that their son was so brave (who has been equated with the likes of patriots Bhagat Sigh, Sukhdev, Rajguru and Chandrashekhar Azad) while they are such cowards”. So they got the courage to live and have been supporting each other since. They have been doing everything from attending functions, to giving interviews, to meeting other martyrs’ families, and everything else that preserves the memories of their son and others like him.

Many an emotional human would be touched by their courage and tears would well up in their eyes but the brave parents keep maintaining their calm.

Kudos to that kind of spirit. No words are enough.Maybe that very spirit will help them to get real justice one fine day...